What a big freakin' surprise

George Bush has decided to unite us by…ramming through the exact same agenda that divided us over the last four years! Hooray!!

The administration now plans to try again to get drilling for oil in ANWR approved. Yep, that six-month supply of oil that will cost us billions to find and drill and won’t be available for ten years in a best-case scenario is job 1 in Bush’s “new” agenda. That should work out swimmingly! They call this “energy independence”, and “alternative energy resources”. Isn’t it amazing how all along we though energy independence and alternative energy resources meant things like solar, wind and hydro power? Naïve liberals, thinking there is any solution other than oil! Those creationists scientists in the Bush administration know that if it isn't already easily accepted by Exxon, it will never ever work. Better spend billions on oil.

Another fun and surprising plan they have is to privatize social security!(via Kos) Yay! This should unite us - the plan to eliminate social security, replace it with 401(k)s, because they've done so well, and immediately lose $2 trillion from current benefits. Yep, for this administration, no job is done until the words "lost" and "trillion" are involved.

Oo, and let's not forget that another priority, as stated by the Uniter, is to ban gay marriage in the constitution! See, since everyone agrees that the constitution does NOT ban gay marriage, and since the constitution clearly states that what is not banned is allowed, it's quite obvious that when courts begin finding that gay marriage is allowed according to the constitution, they're just liberal activists making up the law and ignoring the will of the people (will of the people /= in the constitution). Once liberals start doing things, it's time to by-God^tm ban it in the constitution. Equality, my ass, that's the Republican way! God^tm clearly hates gays, ergo they should be blocked from legal rights in the document which says we can't conflate church and state. Isn't it fun to be united??? YAAYY!

Oo, later we can talk about their great ideas on flat taxes or a national sales tax. Regressive taxation for everyone making less than $200,000! Hooray!

Remember, kids, whenever you hear a Republican whining about the media picking on them, feel free to remind them that A: they're whining and crying like a baby - AGAIN - and B: they control more legislatures than Democrats, and all three branches of the Federal government. Just tell them to shut up and stop whining.