Grammer Frydai II

{Posting on Thursday - tomorrow will be silent posting in support of Mt. Si High School's Gay-Straight Alliance's Day of Silence, and in protest of Ken Hutcherson's ongoing stupidity.}

Wow!  Two whole weeks in a row I'm doing this!  I know, it's a switzer-record; I've actually done two installments in a series for the first time.  A little sad, but what are ya gonna do?  As a reminder, this is just me bitching about grammar/spelling/other wordsmith-related things that really get my goat.  I'm neither a grammarian nor an expert on the English language.  Your submissions are always welcome, too!  So let's get right down to it.

First:  A-whole-nother.  What the hell is this?  I don't see it written, or at least I haven't yet, but I hear it all the time out on the streets and even on the teevee nooz. There is no such thing as a "whole nother".  It may be 'another' thing, or 'a completely different' thing, or even 'something else altogether'  (which is still not right, but at least uses whole words).  Seriously.  From an English language standpoint, this is a whole nother thing that should be avoided.

Deux:  Scat talk - such as 'pee' and 'fart' - appearing in headlines.  Hey, news organizations (I'm looking at you, MSNBC)...stop doing this!  You're the news!  Use adult words for adult things - please!  Instead of 'pee', which is fine to use with your kids or even your buddies ("I need to pee, I'll be right back" - totally acceptable in informal usage), how about the new says 'urine'?  How would that be? 

And really, diminishing serious scientific work - even if it isn't world-changing in itself - with puerile headlines such as this one should be embarrassing to any reputable news organization.  Stop it.  To quote Jon Stewart, you're hurting America.  Use grown-up words for grown-up news.

Lastly for this week:  All of the sudden.  I know, I know...it isn't technically grammatically incorrect (wait, yes it is.), nor are any of the words spelled wrong, plus it uses complete words.  So this is a whole nother thing, right?  Wrong.  It's a common saying that's been intact for hundreds of years and the blogosphere is fucking it up for everyone else.  It's all of A sudden, you bunch of morans!  Honestly, just slow down and read, aloud, what you've written.  If it doesn't make any logical sense, it's probably incorrect.  And you may be a redneck.  {Switzer punches self in nards for ever, ever using a Jeff Foxworthy joke} 

Okay, these will get better in time, I promise.  Or not.  Suck it, it's my blog, my rules!