O, they will know we are Christians by our

use of foster kids for PR. (Apologies to Dan Savage for cribbing his series title.)

Yes, it seems our friends at Focus on the Family have decided Christians should answer the now accepted wisdom that they are pro-life only until the child breaches the labial curtains and enters this mortal coil. By adopting foster kids, or, if unwilling to do that, helping other foster families. So that people will stop calling them hypocrites.

Prominent evangelical Christians are urging churchgoers to strongly consider adoption or foster care, not just out of kindness or biblical calling but also to answer criticism that their movement, while condemning abortion and same-sex adoption, doesn't do enough for children without parents.

With backing from Focus on the Family and best-selling author Rick Warren, the effort to promote "orphan care" among the nation's estimated 65 million evangelicals could drastically reduce foster care rolls if successful.

Not motivated by Christian charity for the children they demand be conceived and born (let us not forget that these people oppose sex education and contraception), but motivated by self-interest: People aren't listening to us because they think we're hypocrites. Let's pretend not to be so they'll listen to us. It gets better:

Sharen Ford, a Colorado Division of Child Welfare Services manager, said some county workers initially presumed "church people beat their kids" or protested the initiative was exclusively Christian. Families, meanwhile, worried they couldn't take children to church or discipline them at all.

In Colorado and other states, the rules are firm on disciplining foster children, some of whom have been badly mistreated: no physical contact is allowed. Because corporal punishment is common among many evangelical parents, alternatives such as loss of privileges and "time outs" are urged, Ford said.

I'm not against corporal punishment, per se - at least in timely, limited ways. But I know what James Dobson says about corporal punishment, and that concerns me - he and his followers are fans of hitting the kids. I don't want kids landing in the homes of people who think James Dobson knows anything about raising children.

And, just to be all King 5 about it, there's a Seattle angle:

That controversy did not escape the notice of Tammie Snyder, executive director of Antioch Adoptions in Redmond, Wash., a Seattle suburb. The nonprofit, which grew out of Antioch Bible Church, recruits and trains parents for free and has placed 216 children since 2001 through a partnership with the state.

The agency will not work with gay and lesbian parents, and the state does not require it. But Snyder said she fears court decisions and laws granting gays and lesbians expanded rights might change that. As it is, Snyder said Antioch refers gay and lesbian parents to agencies that cater to them and have similar state partnerships.

Where will Ken Hutcherson pop his big, fat bigoted head up next?

But here's the rub:

Focus on the Family president Jim Daly wrote supporters that he hopes the orphan-care effort "will not only equip God's people to help meet the physical needs of orphans worldwide, but will ultimately introduce them to the eternal hope that is found in Jesus Christ."

Generally, foster children can be taken to places of worship unless parents who maintain legal rights say otherwise, but forcing religion on foster children is not allowed.

Well, of course they're going to force religion on them! That's what these people believe to be their one job on this earth - to force others to believe (or pretend to believe) what they believe (or pretend to believe, Ted Haggard, ya big homo). Corporal punishment, religious indoctrination, sexual retardation...the list of problems with Christians adopting children in large numbers just goes on and on. Look, there are people, Christian and not, who adopt kids because they feel it's right. That is exactly how it should be done, and I applaud each and every one of them!

But building programs to urge Christians to reach out to foster kids, and calling them orphans because...well, just because, apparently, is just a catastrophe waiting to happen. Like foster kids don't have enough problems in their lives, now James Dobson and his closeted-homo-infested flock is going to suggest that they be adopted by millions of families who don't actually want them, just so people will listen to their political nonsense about abortion. THAT'S TOO DEEPLY FUCKED UP.

Number one with a bullet

Guess who's number one when you Google "green prosperity handkerchief"? Poor Don Stewart - can't a tax cheat and fraudulent leader of a 'prosperity ministry' fleece his flock without some damn liberal exposing him? Can't he have some peace?? Seriously, poor Don Stewart. :-(

Anyhoo, how about a Fascinating Womanhood update? Most of my recent surge of hits (20 a day, and I haven't written for a week!) has come from Google searches for FW or something related, and I'm grateful for every goddamn one. I hope these folks stuck around long enough to read and get a little sense knocked into 'em. If they really believe in those tenets, I just feel...well, I feel sorry for them.

Today, just a very short taste from chapter 17, "Feminine Dependency" (in short, be dependent, or as our author puts it, helpless):

6. Don't Try to Excel Him: To be feminine, don't compete with men in anything which requires masculine ability. For example, don't try to outdo them in sports, lifting weights, in running, (heaven forfend!) in repairing equipment, etc. (Scott Jonas and his annoying music seem to agree) Also, don't compete with men for advancement on a job, for higher pay, or greater honors. Don't compete with them for scholastic honors in men's subjects (emphasis Switzer's). It may be all right to win over a man in English or Social Studies, but you are in trouble if you compete with a man in math, chemistry, public speaking, etc. Don't appear to know more than a man does in world events, the space program, or science or industry. Do not excel men in anything which has to do with the masculine field of endeavor.

I'm telling you, this is the greatest book ever written.

Even ESPN takes potshots

You know, Bush doesn't have a lot of friends by any stretch. But when columnists at ESPN take completely random, apropos-of-nothing potshots at you, you've really hit some new lows. Check this out:

Stalin Memoir Shocker: "I Always Opposed That Gulag Idea": When he had a book to sell in 2004, former George W. Bush anti-terrorism advisor Richard Clarke sought publicity by declaring he always had been opposed to the invasion of Iraq. Now that he has a book to sell, former CIA director George Tenet is seeking publicity by declaring there was no case for invading Iraq. Oh -- so the two of you knew it all along, you just forgot to say so! Government officials have freedom of speech -- no one would have stopped Clarke or Tenet from speaking up when their views might have mattered. When silence advanced their careers, they said nothing. Only when they had something to sell did they suddenly loosen their tongues.

Folks, this appears between Detroit and Green Bay in an ESPN.com column grading NFL team's draft-day performances. This isn't some Bush-hatin' commie blog. It's just sports. And it comes from out of nowhere. Seriously, go read it. If you're not interested in football or draft, just skim along, and you'll see how much this stands out from everything else.

But this isn't all!! No, after getting back to sports and getting all the way down to the Oakland Raiders, our friendly sports writer suddenly decides to go on and on about Barack Obama and the idiocy of Fox News focusing on his middle name. Check this out:

The parking-ticket story was absurd, yet there has been serious discussion about the fact that Obama's middle name is Hussein. This is a weird coincidence -- but strictly a coincidence, so why does anyone care? His father, who died in 1982, was Barack Hussein Obama; the Illinois senator simply carries his father's name. Obama was given the middle name long before "Hussein" had any political connotation. And as with all birth names, Obama was not consulted in the matter! Suppose somebody named Willard becomes a dictator somewhere, would we hold this against Mitt Romney? (Willard is his real first name.) That cable news fixated on Obama's middle name is an indicator of the incredible superficiality of contemporary politics. As was talk radio fixation on the four years Obama lived as a child in Indonesia, since he wasn't consulted about that either. Anyway, Obama spent most of his childhood in -- do you have any idea? -- Honolulu. Strangely, Fox News has not suggested there is a sinister Hawaii connection in his candidacy.

There's a lot more here, some of it kinda funny. Honestly, go skim through the sports stuff and read it. What is going on here?

I read ESPN.com almost obsessively. Bill Simmons, the Sports Guy, is like a writing god to me, and mostly because of his stream-of-consciousness style and willingness to occasionally get political (he's on my side, w00t!). ESPN has its fair share of progressives, and you see them mention politics from time to time, but it's usually in the form of a metaphor (i.e. 'Oakland's front office is run so badly you almost want to see if George W. Bush replaced Al Davis'. Not a real quote, but a reasonable facsimile). Today's quotes were really, totally, completely out of place and unexpected. And quite telling.

The first segment was so jarring and so strongly worded, I enjoyed it thinking that the author had written it for their personal political blog and 'accidentally' snuck it into their ESPN post. But the Obama bit is long, and it's clear this is just part of the landscape. The impressive thing: it's really good. I mean, not just opinions I agree with, but actual good political writing. From a sports columnist.

The mouth-breathers have lost; they have no more safe havens. You can't even read about the NFL without finding reminders that the modern GOP is among the most devastatingly failed political parties in our country's history.