Be a fascinating woman in three easy steps

It's time. I'm starting my series of posts from the 1963 book "Fascinating Womanhood", by Helen B. Andelin. Me and Mrs. Switzer came into possession of an original 1963 edition of the book, which appears to be unblemished by the hand of whichever apparently less-than-fascinating woman owned it. Every so often, I'm going to provide, for your pleasure, an excerpt from the book. I mean, really, what switzer-reader doesn't want to be a fascinating woman?

It should be noted that the image to the left is straight outtta the book - it's the visual representation of what men want - apparently, we want the angelic/human woman. So without further ado... (this should be gooooood)

Today's excerpt is from Chapter 3: Accept a man at face value. I begin mid-chapter, in a section titled "Is there ever a time when I should try to change him?" (the answer is "no", btw). I will post the excerpt verbatim, but will add emphasis via bolding for the really delicious parts.

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3. When A Man Does Something Wrong: Another time to respond to a man's faults is when he is dishonest, unkind, weak, sinful, or in any way shows a lack of character. If you overlook his weakness, you display a lack of character yourself. The way to respond to his improper conduct is this: At first show reluctance to believe it. Say that you thought it was impossible for a man such as he to do such a thing. If you are compelled to believe it, indicate that you know it is contrary to his true nature and was only the result of carelessness or thoughtlessness. You must be immensely disappointed at his temporary lapse, but your faith in his better side must be unshaken.

SOME SPECIAL PROBLEMS

1. The Alcoholic Husband: Many women ask, must I accept alcoholism in my husband? Alcoholism is one of the most difficult of faults for a woman to accept in a man, due to related problems of squandering money, ugliness of disposition, dishonesty, unreliableness, other women, and the deterioration of the home. Women almost despair over this problem. Many have asked me, "How can I accept what he has done to our life?" In answer, "you must accept htis," but let me stress some points which will make this acceptance possible.

First, realize that alcoholism is one of the most difficult of all weaknesses to overcome. You will have to gain an understanding of the depth of the problem and a sympathy for what the man faces. I know you have been told this before, but here is what you can do to make sympathy real. Once a month fast for three days - going without all food or beverage - nothing but water. You will soon get the picture of what you are expecting of a man when you ask him to give up his enslaving habit. Although food is not a habit, going without it will serve our purpose of gaining sympathy.

Next, try to gain a humility of spirit in the following way: Take a look at your reaction to his problem. Even though you have known better, you have probably yelled, nagged, insulted and abused him for the mess he has made of your lives. When he acts like he does, you have had a bad attitude, lost patience and exploded. You may have tried to live the principles of Fascinating Womanhood, but time and time again you have failed to apply them.

If you can admit such weakness in yourself, the inability to control yourself and a failure to do what you know you should do, then can you condemn your husband for his weakness, a most difficult human weakness to overcome? Your weaknesses are relatively easy to overcome. His are almost impossible. If you will "cast out the beam from your own eye first," then you will be able to see the terrible enslaving bond of alcoholism that your husband is under.

2. Cruelty to children: If a man is dangerously cruel with his children in that he would harm either body or spirit, the wife has a moral and sacred obligation to protect her children by taking them out of his presence or even out of the household and remaining away until all danger is past. This step can be taken kindly but firmly, not condemning the man, but protecting the children. You will have to accept even cruelty as a human weakness and not judge the man, but try to understand the causes of his cruelty. Your own kind but firm spirit may be the means of bringing him to reality.

3. Other Women: There are two things a woman can rightfully expect in marriage, and they are fidelity and financial support. If the husband is involved with another woman, I suggest that the wife deal with the problem in the following way:

First, face your part in the problem by asking yourself what you did to drive him away. After a study of Fascinating Womanhood, you will see many of these mistakes. Correcting these errors can be the means of winning him back, and in many cases this has been done quickly and under difficult circumstances.

After you have eliminated your mistakes and become a wonderful wife, if he continues immoral practices, it will be time to bring him to a showdown, stating clearly but firmly that he will have to make a choice and that if he does not give her up you will have to leave him. And be prepared to keep your word.

It is morally wrong for a woman to continue to live with a man who is immoral. It can actually prevent his repentance, for if he has both of you, he does not have the incentive he needs to give her up. This step can be taken with understanding and humility, accepting the sin as a great human weakness, extremely difficult to overcome. This can be done without condemning or judging him. A woman cannot turn her back on her husband's infidelity with a clear conscience. She has a moral obligation to make an effort to win him back, for as long as he lives in sin he is on the way to destruction. By winning him back, you not only save a marriage, but a soul!

4. Nonsupport: The second thing a woman can expect in marriage is financial support. This means an income to cover necessities and a home of her own - a house, apartment or respectable dwelling place away from any other family. If the man does not provide these things, there is justification for action.

Since women are not inclined to let the children suffer hunger or want, many solve this problem by going to work. This step, however, will weaken the man's incentive and increase the problem. If she provides the income, he is removed from the weight of his responsibility. If the wife refuses to work, an indolent man may walk out on his responsibility and leave the wife to face her problems alone. In this case, the wife has no choice but to support the family but should refuse to have the man return until he arranges for their support. I am not implying that there are not certain circumstances and emergencies when the wife should work, but the responsibility is the man's as we will learn in a later chapter.

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Wow! So we're off to a great start! Remember ladies, if your husband is a dumbass, lazy cheater, it's your fault. Get your act together! I have a feeling this theme will be repeated...